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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?